Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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