My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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