We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
