just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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