peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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