I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She said her name was "party"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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