now i know why i became what i already was.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
