spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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