just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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