I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
