Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
