In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
