But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
