So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
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Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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