Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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