i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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