So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
