The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
how can u be prego again
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize