By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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