just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
