It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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