I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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