so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
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how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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