corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
