Where did you get a picture of my penis
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
