batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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