yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
