so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
