Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
