ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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