he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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