She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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