No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
my liver is dry heaving
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
