Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?