woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.