sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.