worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.