you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
