It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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