Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
