Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
