Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
