I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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