it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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