If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
