So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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