They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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