We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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