And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
