My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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