3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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