She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
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I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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