Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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